weights

The chest pains mean conflict 
mean look inside. 
“Aren’t you tired?” I whisper to my body.
I cradle myself like I can disappear.
Cradle myself how I want to be held. 
Cup my tears before they hit the ground.
Accidentally reabsorb what I’m trying 
to let go. Sticky heavy residue marks this body. Sadness seeps late at night, alone
is how I collapse. 
I turn the lights off. Say it’s just shadows, 
just the moonlight dancing on my skin. 
Just the dark, just that night, just this night.
“I’m just so fucking tired” I whisper into myself. 

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